Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Connecting with our ancestors, father loss, family of origin, metaphysical, transcendent, prayer and meditation

Having experienced loss at an early age set me up for a strong spirit connection, especially with those that have transitioned from our physical world. I remember as a first grader in Catholic school asking Sister Leonice during religion class if I would see my father when I died and went to heaven. "Would he be waiting for me?" I said. 

She paused before she answered, probably moved by a six year old's earnestness and asked us all to close our eyes. "Even though you can't see me, you know I'm here right?" she asked. We all, I presumed, silently nodded. It wasn't really a direct answer to my question, but I judge it was the best she could do with just a moment's notice. 

My father suddenly died when I was only 15 months old. There was a huge emotional void in my large Italian family. Within two months of his sudden passing, my mother's oldest sister and mother also died. Coming from a big extended family in a small midwestern town meant that I saw aunts, uncles and cousins on a daily basis. I felt the spirit of those relatives that died everywhere and people often spoke of my father and grandparents to me. We visited the cemetery weekly during the summer and early fall and there was a baseball field memorial in my dad's name. 

No wonder I am a mystic, so connected to spiritual things, open to souls that have transitioned from this physical world and one who seeks guidance from metaphysical resources every single day.

I'm playing a game with my father these days. Keep in mind my relationship with him is purely transcendent. The root of the word transcendent means 'crossing over' and so I am crossing over to his world and he is crossing back over to mine. I have appealed to him to assist me and mentor me in some business projects. It's the least he can do given he's been physically unavailable for over 51 years. He says he will help me, but there are some things I must do as well.

This is going to be interesting. Since I've made public this daughterly demand on my deceased father, I'm going to be accountable to the results. So far, he has asked me to come to him daily in prayer and meditation and ask him for guidance. He was a very successful businessman, except for the dying suddenly without financial provisions for my 
mother. She'll have to work that out with him herself. My unresolved issues with my father include missing out on the sense of security and protection that a fatherly,  masculine energy provides, experiencing ongoing encouragement and mentoring in sports, finances and whatever I decide to accomplish and being given confidence to achieve whatever I desire having a strong, loving daddy present who has my back. I'm claiming these inalienable rights, as a daughter, now.

So, I'll keep you all informed, for those few who may be interested. Mostly my writing in a chronicling for myself. 

Here is a quote from BLESSINGS FROM MARY that affirms this interesting journey and a picture of me at just a year old three months before my dad died;

April 16th 
Our ancestors gift us with much to offer others.
Wisdom of Mary Magdalene

I miss my mother and father and all my aunts and uncles that have died. I often think of my childhood and though I felt lonely, I also had a sense of belonging in my Italian family. My aunts, uncles and cousins are a part of me forever and I feel their energy when I sit down to write.

“Your ancestors are part of your offspring. They give your life meaning. They give your life rootedness. Your ancestors speak wisdom into your life, if you will listen. All of your ancestors have gifted you. Look for the gifts.

In their own struggles, they have gifted you. In their own traditional ways, they have gifted you. In their sober, hardworking ways, they have gifted you. In their harshness, they have gifted you. In their absences, they have gifted you.

As you find the gifts of your own woundedness and pain, you will find the blessings of your ancestors. You will now become the gifter and the bestower of the blessings.”

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